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By
Carlos Randolphsen
Pirates
were surprised to be beaten back by heavily armed trophy girls
of the Washougal Forces Organization (WFO) after a fierce battle
approximately 12 nautical feet off the coast of Treasure Island.
The
Trophy Girls, with the help of Navy Crank Seals, successfully
repelled the invaders. Their superior firepower included Husky
390 pipes (seen above) and unweildy Monark GS cylinders. The
Bucaneers, unaware of the difference between powder-puff with
powder-coat got waxed, Police said.
But
William Grubinson said a nonprofit group that monitors pirate
activity reports that this threat is on the rise. The increasing
scarcity of YZ boots, CR kick-arms, and indeed unobtanium
in general, has cause Pirate attacks to skyrocket over the past
decade.
In
a controversial move, area grocery stores have quit stocking
fruit in an effort to encourage scurvy in Pirate Crews, but
a local school district spokeswoman said the children have
to come first, and it is better to have Vintage Parts fall
into the hands of Swashbucklers than for kids to go hungry.
Thom
Green was quoted as saying he was outraged by this lack of focus
putting brats ahead of parts. "Pirates anchored in the
E-Bay can sell with abandon, along with everyone else"
he said. "The only way we can track them is to watch
for parrots among the pistons and other parts...."
Vintage
Racers everywhere have asked that this issue be brought to the
fore at the upcoming B8-ES Summit.
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